I’ve been invited on a bucket list hike to Sweden. But it’d mean missing the Taylor Swift Eras tour. What should I do?

“I’ve been invited on an absolute ‘hell yes’ trip to Sweden, but there’s one big catch: I’ll have to miss the Eras Tour, and I already bought my ticket. I adore Taylor Swift, but will the concert be so good that it’s worth missing a week of hiking in the Stockholm Archipelago? What do I do?!”

It’s time to do some soul searching, sweet baby. Are you an adventurer or a fangirl? And that’s not a jibe or a dig or a diss. From Beatlemania to the Beyhive, fangirls have always been at the epicenter of all things pop culture. They’re the ultimate dictators of trend. They reign supreme. 

I’m not restricting any woman’s right to a nuanced identity, either. She can have her cake (Taylor Swift), and eat it too (Sweden). Except in this particular instance, because the she in question cannot, according to physics, be in two places at once. 

So dearest reader, let’s Marie Kondo this situation. We need to ascertain which life experience is going to bring you the most joy. Are you, deep down, an adventurer or a fangirl?

Imagine yourself standing in a heaving 90,000 person crowd at Wembley Stadium. Your arms are heavy with friendship bracelets. Your new cowboy boots, admittedly, are already giving you blisters. A tall, blonde woman in a sequined jumpsuit takes to the stage. Your eardrums spontaneously burst from the screaming. You’re in debilitating pain. She starts to sing a song about Jake Gyllenhaal or a rugby player. I’m not sure, maybe it’s a DJ. You cry tears of happiness, and suffering. 

Now imagine yourself standing on the shore of a pristine Swedish island, surrounded by 30,000 other pristine Swedish islands. Your arms are heavy with the hiking pack you’re holding. Your old boots are hugging your feet. A tall, blonde woman on a kayak waves and calls out ‘god eftermiddag’ (good afternoon) as she paddles past. A bird’s song is carried on the lilting sea breeze, maybe it’s a Crested Tit or a Tree Pipit. Perhaps it’s a Redstart. You cry tears of happiness, and serenity.

You’ll always be able to go home and watch the inevitable Netflix special. But you can’t replicate a true adventure.

Alright, YOU GOT ME. I tried to be objective, but I’m not a Taylor fan or stan. Cut me down and feed me to the Swifties seeing Red, I don’t give a damn. My advice to you will forever be: GO TO SWEDEN. 

I know the Eras tour is a big-time phenomenon. I know this because I have the internet. But is the culture of Swift as ephemeral as our fragile ecosystem? 

When you’re old and gray and unable to put on your own boots (cowboy or hiking or otherwise) don’t you want to tell your grandkids about the time you hit the trails in the Stockholm Archipelago, while there still was an archipelago? Because climate change is real, friend.

And you know what else? Taytay is a major carbon contributor.  She might be boosting local economies, but she also reportedly holds the number one spot for private jet emissions. Do we actually think her offsetting is enough? Should we all boyco…

Sorry, I’m getting tangential. The question at hand is: To Eras or to Adventure? In short, I vote you go and forest bathe in a beautiful Swedish idyll. I vote you go for a long, long walk, and if the FOMO starts eating at you, just plug in and listen to the entirety of Taylor’s Version while you trek. Create a brand new Taylor Swift memory association, special and unique to you. 

And at the end of the day—and hike—just remember: You’ll always be able to go home and watch the inevitable Netflix special. But you can’t replicate a true adventure.

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