“It became my therapy”: How Ci Demi took photography to Istanbul’s streets to help tackle depression

Not many people need to rediscover the city they were born, raised and have lived in their entire life. 

But in the case of Turkish photographer Ci Demi, a troubling mental health crisis led him to perceive Istanbul’s crowded, noisy streets with entirely fresh eyes. Born in Beyoğlu, a cosmopolitan district on the European side of the Bosphorus Strait, Demi had little interest in photography until he was 28. Instead, he spent over a decade as a copywriter and creative director for advertising agencies.

However, in 2015, after witnessing protests across the city, Demi abruptly bought a camera using a bonus he got from his day job. Soon, he became engrossed with photography as an art form, researching legendary artists and finding his first paid work in music photography. Not one to pursue his interests half-heartedly, he turned his attention to photojournalism, looking to make his mark like the photographers he had come to admire.

“You see, I’m a really mission-driven person… That same year, I decided to become a war photographer, traveling to southern Turkey to photograph the clashes between the Turkish army and Kurdish militants,” says Demi. “After I came back, I realized my photos were awful. I wasn’t able to tell the story I thought I could.”

Despite this disappointment, Demi continued to work on his craft with a local photojournalism agency, shooting numerous stories focused on Istanbul’s migrant population. But in 2019, his life took a turn for the worse. Falling into a deep depression, he quit the agency, questioning his future as a photographer and his life in Istanbul. Increasingly isolated, Demi only left his home about 10 times that year. Still, every time he did, he took his camera with him.

Shooting as much as possible during these rare days outside, Demi’s disparate images reflect his crippling mental state, but also his sense of longing for the city and life itself. Consolidated into his recently completed series, ‘No Offence If You Forget,’ this work serves as a time capsule of his most challenging moments while embodying his attachment to Istanbul as his home, even if it remains something of a love-hate relationship.

“I had no other outlet. At that time, photography became my therapy—it was the only reason I went outside,” he says. “By 2021, I started to get better, but I kept photographing because it became my way of overcoming those difficult times.”

In many ways, Istanbul’s constant construction became Demi’s bellwether for the city’s progress in his absence. Knowing that change was all around him, yet rarely seeing it, the days he left home only to see how a nearby building project had been finished made it seem like he was fast-forwarding through time. This unusual perspective on Istanbul became a fascinating subject, one that he began to miss when isolated and alone at home.

“Curiosity is the key. If you keep your curiosity alive, you always see new things.”

- Ci Demi

Demi told himself that leaving Istanbul behind for somewhere, anywhere, would help him heal and overcome his struggles. The phrase and eventual inspiration for the series title—“unutursan darılmam” (I won’t be offended if you forget)—came to mind, as if Istanbul was wistfully acknowledging his need to leave. Yet when looking back through his images, he recognizes the undeniable bond linking him with the city.

“It made me more aware of things, I became a tourist in the city because a lot of time had passed. I was constantly surprised and even easily amused by things after all that time,” he says. “The scattered photos I took in those years helped me connect to the city.”

Home to a population of 15 million, Demi says forging a comfortable existence in Istanbul doesn’t come easily. Traffic is endless, the cost of living is exploding, and there are always new problems to deal with. Meanwhile, there’s a transient quality to the city, as many locals or otherwise see it as a waypoint to where they really want to be. Frustrated and enthralled by the city in equal measure, Demi views himself as a staunch Istanbulite, intrinsically connected to the cityscape.

Capturing this relationship has been a long process. While none of the images are staged, Demi describes projects like ‘No Offence If You Forget’ as fictional. Produced from mismatched moments along Istanbul’s streets, over time, he formed a cohesive narrative that mirrors his life in the city. Carefully selected and edited, this project, like much of Demi’s work, delves into Istanbul’s psychogeography—the way physical location shapes individual behaviors and emotions.

“I’m inspired by architecture—the beauty of certain neighborhoods, the mystery in odd buildings…”

- Dario Argento, director

“I take every photo to intentionally fill a gap in a story,” explains Demi. “The images are all real, they all have documentary qualities, but I choose to put them together in a way that tells my story.”

Demi’s distinctive photographic style is another stand-out aspect of his work. In developing an aesthetic to call his own after he first took up a camera, he drew inspiration from Italian ‘Giallo’ films. Popular throughout the 1970s and ’80s, these pulpy crime-horror films use bold, surrealist visuals to intensify melodramatic violence. While the subject he explores might differ, Demi says he attempts to replicate a similar unease in his work.

“Photography was foreign to me, but I was interested in ‘Giallo’ films, so I adapted their approach.,” he says. “The colors in my photographs aren’t exactly the same because I shoot digitally, but I try to reference Giallo films using low contrast and heightened colors.”

It could be said that a sense of place, by way of Giallo films, inspired Demi’s photography. Influential Giallo director Dario Argento once explained how real places inspired the dark and gloomy worlds he depicts: “I’m inspired by architecture—the beauty of certain neighborhoods, the mystery in odd buildings, or streets that suggest psychoanalytic theories.”

Similarly, many images in ‘No Offence If You Forget’ feature small, often incongruous urban details that speak to Demi’s emotions and the intangible qualities of Istanbul. Wandering the streets searching for illuminating, absurd moments, he finds them in disorderly spaces, like unexpected glimpses of greenery clinging to dusty concrete walls or sculpted busts of trailblazing actresses on neglected street corners. “Curiosity is the key. If you keep your curiosity alive, you always see new things,” Demi says, explaining how reconnecting with Istanbul in this slow, deliberate manner made it easier to experience his surroundings on a deeper level.

Curiosity is what also led Demi to conclude the series. He recently spent four months in New Zealand with his Kiwi fiancé, preempting a potential move across the globe. Yet the distance between himself and his homeland only made him realize that he needs Istanbul “to simply exist.” Shot in Wellington and Marlborough Sounds, the series’ final images capture a sense of moving on while acknowledging that he is Istanbul and Istanbul is him.

“Istanbul is the place I will stay. For many people, they just come and go. That’s okay, it’s a city full of opportunities and that’s the nature of things. But for me, it’s my central hub. I will go to other places, but I will never ‘go to’ Istanbul, I will always be here.”

***

Adventure.com strives to be a low-emissions publication, and we are working to reduce our carbon emissions where possible. Emissions generated by the movements of our staff and contributors are carbon offset through our parent company, Intrepid. You can visit our sustainability page and read our Contributor Impact Guidelines for more information. While we take our commitment to people and planet seriously, we acknowledge that we still have plenty of work to do, and we welcome all feedback and suggestions from our readers. You can contact us anytime at hello@adventure.com. Please allow up to one week for a response.