I can’t afford my partner’s expensive travel style—what should I do?

“I can’t afford my partner’s expensive travel style, what should I do?”

Girl, the cost of living is so high right now I almost can’t afford the monthly subscription to my own existential dread, let alone the price of a business class ticket. We can collectively blame the government and landlords everywhere for that. 

But before we dive into your capital conundrum, let’s: 1) breathe out any shame we might be holding onto for living within our current means (you’re doing so great, bb)  and; 2) close the bank lenders tab. You can take out a loan, but is it a sustainable financial decision? The Barefoot Investor says no, remember your buckets.

I should preface this by saying I’m not a financial advisor nor am I a therapist (although put me in a women’s bathroom and I do a freakishly good Esther Perel). What I do know is that travel, much like maintaining an adult relationship with your parents, requires clear comms. Without it, you’re grounded. Or in your case, kinda in debt. 

But as a 33-year-old woman with no qualifications besides a decade working in travel and a somewhat secure attachment style, here are my solutions. Take them or leave them.

Be honest

What, they judged you for earning less than them? Dump ‘em. They offer to pay for the whole trip? Marry ‘em. They compromise and find a travel style that works for both of you because they value your company and know that a healthy partnership requires understanding within the romantic unit? Renew your freaking vows. In other words, I think honesty is the best paper policy here.  Otherwise, your options are:

Choose your destination wisely

I once bought a G&T in Zurich that cost USD$40. It came in a plastic cup. On a trip to Phnom Penh, I got a gin martini with a twist for USD$10. They chilled the glass. Look into global exchange rates and see where you might get more for your money AKA know your worth. Plus your money might go further, and make more impact, in these destinations. The Swiss don’t need your coin, they’re doing fine financially. Like, disgustingly fine actually.

“Maybe your best work friend is your travel soulmate. After all, you’re both being underpaid by the same boss so your budgets are compatible.”

Join a group trip 

The beauty of a group trip is you pay up front. Depending on your operator, most of the expenses are covered before you’ve even touched down. Accom, transport, some meals—sorted. You’re also less likely to find yourself navigating extraneous and expensive travel options, because everything has been decided and scheduled for you. Some operators have tiers of trip styles, so you can find a price point that suits ahead of departure. S’wonderful, s’monetarily feasible. 

Don’t split 50/50

Some people hate this. And by some people I mean men who think feminism means splitting things 50/50 because, equality. But the reality of life is that financial disparity (and a gender pay gap, lol) exists. If your partner can afford their bougie travel style perhaps they could also afford to split the costs based on bank account, i.e. 70/30. ‘Even Stevens’ is not always fair, folks.

Travel separately 

THE DRAMA. You’d think I just recommended an open relationship. Some people find separate travel to be liberating and fulfilling. Just because you’re in a sexy partnership doesn’t mean they’re your travel soulmate. Maybe your best work friend is your travel soulmate. After all, you’re both being underpaid by the same boss so your budgets are compatible. 

At the end of the day, and trip, travel shouldn’t break your bank or your relationship. In this case, I vote for clear communication, honest budgeting and, if all else fails, therapy. 

Happy travels xoxo

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